What is a mother?

I have met many "mothers" in my lifetime and have been inspired to be more like some and at the same time swear I'd never be like others. Fortunately I have been blessed with more than one mother, more than two grandmothers and had the opportunity when I was small to meet and interact with a great grandmother (I am so glad that my daughter has had that same opportunity).

My mother is a woman child of God, a replica of her own mother (sorry mom) in some ways but mostly has become her own person (just a little bit). She's always supportive on my good decisions and scolds me still when I make bad ones. I still get my feelings hurt at times when she tells me what I need to hear but I know she means well and I wouldn't want her to lie to me. I've hurt her feelings, stomped on her heart and cussed and argued with her all because I knew better than she - in the long run I've ate my words and swallowed my pride to commend her on her experience and have since come to realize that she did know better. I've learned more in the last 11 years and have re-visited the "One day... you'll see" line more than I care to count but I could never thank her enough for the education she has provided with me and although I said, " I'd never do that to my child!" - I admit, I've done it - cause it works.

My Nana is a woman of compassion, and I would have loved to have met her mother and when she reads this she's gonna cry. She too has always been supportive of me and she is who I'd go to when the head momma in charge made me cry. She'd love me and make me feel better and fix me a peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich (she had to do it cause she was afraid I'd lick the spoon and put it back in the jelly jar - she's a strict no double dipper). And as the world has turned - she is also who my daughter goes to when I make her mad or she gets hurt - "I want my Nana" she says. I don't have a recent picture of her but I will be putting one on this blog very soon - so lookout Nana here I come with the camera. :)

With the many influences in my life, I have come to determine and somewhat plan on my daughter loving me, sometimes say that she hates me (even though she doesn't), hurt me, crush my heart and mend it all in one sentence. With the lessons I've previously learned and the lessons I will learn in the future I hope I am half the mother that the mothers and grandmothers in my life have been to me.

Equality - what...ever!

Two teenage girls, both are fortunate to have a home, one has parents who care and can afford for her to have some of her wants and all of her needs and the other is apparently deprived of something (no one is sure what) - the two are from opposite ends of the spectrum. One day the "bully" (the deprived child)we'll call her comes in and approaches the other and tells her to move from the seat she was sitting. The girl says, no I was here first so the bully takes the seat behind her. They have to be separated further anyway because there is a test and the bully mouths off and says great I can't stand to sit by "white" girls. The other girl says that she wasn't exactly excited about sitting next to her either letting her know that she wasn't scared of her and knowing that really she's all mouth anyway. The bully approaches the girl, calls her all the bad names she could think of and threatens to bring a gun and kill her. The girl that stood up for herself is the one that was sent to ISS. - WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!!!!! The days of this garbage is - well... should be OVER.

The girl doesn't say anything to her parents but does slip up and say something to her sister and her friends about what the bully had said, when her parents caught wind, they took it up with the school prior to someone getting seriously hurt. Not only does this bother me as a mother but it also bothers me as a citizen. We live in what is supposed to be a FREE country with the freedom to walk the streets of America without fear. Today our children can't even go to school safely. Everyone was put on this earth and created EQUAL, different in color, size and shape but EQUAL. They have been given EQUAL rights and... EQUAL opportunity - what they choose to do with their lives (either live it to the fullest or flush it down the drain) is NOT my fault.

Everyone should have consequences for their actions and NO ONE should be given favoritism just because of their color, religion, size or celebrity. We look at child and teenage bullies these days as those that are less fortunate because they tend to try to bully smarter or children that have more drive and initiative to achieve or just appear like they can't handle their own - why? Because they themselves lack those traits - NOT MY FAULT! It's not my fault that someone Else's children do not have respect for their parents or themselves (they weren't taught how to), nor is it my fault that that a child's family can't afford to buy their children new clothes but instead they can afford to buy them nice 2ND hand clothes. Pardon me for teaching my child respect, pardon me for providing my child with boundaries, rules and guidelines. Break the rules - deal with the consequences. I was taught respect, and brought up with boundaries, guidelines, rules and more spankings than I care to count and I turned out just fine. My daughter has rules, boundaries and guidelines. Spanking isn't necessary unless it is needed. And what that bully needs is nothing more than a good ol' fashion spankin'.

Which brings me to another point. Most adults today were spanked as children and probably more than half deserved every lick they got whether it was from a belt, as switch they had to pick themselves (heaven forbid if it wasn't long enough) or the hand of their parents and most of them turned out just fine. If it ain't broke - don't try to fix it.......The problem is that those that were literally abused as children is who is trying to outlaw it and make it near impossible to discipline a child and teach them right from wrong. They are the ones that are making DSS so accessible to children that anytime they are spanked for a wrong doing like, I don't know - Stealing, the child can call DSS and then what - no one is taught anything but everyone has hateful and resentful feelings. These people are just the ones that have nothing else better to do but complain and has also managed to convince the Government to take God out of the schools, now they are trying to take "One nation under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance and "In God we Trust" off the American Dollar. The nation was founded by God and it is just WRONG and "AGAINST MY RELIGION" to take him out of it. Ohhh.. I'm fired up now :)

Bottom line is this.... Don't judge me, and I don't judge you. Live like you should, teach your children right from wrong. ( Right = good things, good thoughts, good actions, courtesy, and an equal playing field for everyone) - (Wrong = lying, cheating, stealing, beating, fighting and prejudice). It won't matter 15 years from now if your child didn't make the softball, football or soccer team nor will it matter how much money you had to spend on them or the size and location of the house you call home. What will matter is how you treated your peers during the process of your life and what and how you will be remembered at your high school reunion or even the legacy of your last name.

Help to keep the beaches clean!

As my husband, our dog Josh and I were walking along the beach Saturday afternoon while the sun was setting beautifully, I quickly became discouraged that such an awesome wonder and beautiful setting could be ruined by such negligence. During our approximate 2 mile walk, I found myself instead of looking for shells and sharks teeth, I was combing the beach for litter.

I found several empty plastic bottles that were left by recent visitors (the labels weren't even faded), an abandoned beach chair thrown up in the dune, plastic wrappers, cigarette boxes and butts and the list goes on. As a local, this disturbs me that other locals and even the visitors that pay an abundance of money to vacation here would leave behind such things while enjoying themselves at the beach. Just because they pay the money doesn't mean that the litter rules do not apply to them. The hovering seagulls looking for food could easily pick up digest and die from plastic. By the end of the walk (that was supposed to be relaxing) I ended up more stressed and annoyed than I was when we started the walk. I cannot believe that people are so careless and thoughtless especially when the towns have placed multiple trash cans at every public access.

This is my hometown, visitors are welcome and encouraged but PLEASE.... discard your trash in the trash cans as you leave the beach after a day of fun in the sun. God gave us this beautiful landscape to enjoy. Enjoy it and be responsible for helping to keep it beautiful.

2008 so far

I turned 30 in January of this year and have had a struggle with it since then. I'm not sure why because women turn 30 every day but it has been hard for me emotionally, physically and otherwise. Since I have reached this age, I have reflected everyday on who I am, what I was and who I will become.

Since I was a little girl I have imagined having a family, providing for that family and living the American Dream. Making my own rules, and in some cases breaking my own rules, not having to answer for anything to anyone and then.... when I was 18 I gave birth to a rather large 9lb 7 oz baby girl who I completely and totally adore, 2 yrs later I married her dad and we were official, we were a family. My husband worked construction and then moved into HVAC, I had multiple part time jobs while my Mom and Nana (bless her) helped by taking care of our daughter while our schedules passed by a kiss at the door. Then the opportunity came to where I could work like a civilized person better known as a "day job" allowing my family to be together in the evenings, my daughter moved to day care during the day and life was good. I remained at that job for a little over 5 years when the fun and enjoyment of my collegues and co-workers had dimeninshed and I began to be resentful of my efforts to be a good employee as it had taken its toll on my family and my marriage and was showing in my work. ( I loved my job - really I did but it was time to go). I moved on to what I thought was going to be greener grass that ended up not being and now I am in love with my job again - Thank God! and then I turned 30. Whoah.... wher'd that come from?! Aside from turning 30, my daughter, a short time before turned into a young lady and is becoming a typical pre-teen as we speak -yikes! My mother said she prayed that I would have one just like me - well, Thank you God for granting that prayer! She is a spitting image of me all the way around. She looks like me, talks like me, gets assy (if that's a word) like me. - What better way to be right?! (Ha ha).

For the most part my life is good although there are times I wish it was better but nonetheless I can't complain. I have a husband who loves me, a happy and healthly daughter who is a good student and sometimes overkills the best of intentions, a family that I can turn to when I need to vent or just be - As I think about all the things I wanted to be and want to be in the future, I recall a recent song release from Trace Atkins, titled " You're gonna miss this" and I step back and realize that I really couldn't ask for more, I have everything I need right now and wouldn't change anything. It is what it is and what will be will be.

Thanks for reading,