2008 so far

I turned 30 in January of this year and have had a struggle with it since then. I'm not sure why because women turn 30 every day but it has been hard for me emotionally, physically and otherwise. Since I have reached this age, I have reflected everyday on who I am, what I was and who I will become.

Since I was a little girl I have imagined having a family, providing for that family and living the American Dream. Making my own rules, and in some cases breaking my own rules, not having to answer for anything to anyone and then.... when I was 18 I gave birth to a rather large 9lb 7 oz baby girl who I completely and totally adore, 2 yrs later I married her dad and we were official, we were a family. My husband worked construction and then moved into HVAC, I had multiple part time jobs while my Mom and Nana (bless her) helped by taking care of our daughter while our schedules passed by a kiss at the door. Then the opportunity came to where I could work like a civilized person better known as a "day job" allowing my family to be together in the evenings, my daughter moved to day care during the day and life was good. I remained at that job for a little over 5 years when the fun and enjoyment of my collegues and co-workers had dimeninshed and I began to be resentful of my efforts to be a good employee as it had taken its toll on my family and my marriage and was showing in my work. ( I loved my job - really I did but it was time to go). I moved on to what I thought was going to be greener grass that ended up not being and now I am in love with my job again - Thank God! and then I turned 30. Whoah.... wher'd that come from?! Aside from turning 30, my daughter, a short time before turned into a young lady and is becoming a typical pre-teen as we speak -yikes! My mother said she prayed that I would have one just like me - well, Thank you God for granting that prayer! She is a spitting image of me all the way around. She looks like me, talks like me, gets assy (if that's a word) like me. - What better way to be right?! (Ha ha).

For the most part my life is good although there are times I wish it was better but nonetheless I can't complain. I have a husband who loves me, a happy and healthly daughter who is a good student and sometimes overkills the best of intentions, a family that I can turn to when I need to vent or just be - As I think about all the things I wanted to be and want to be in the future, I recall a recent song release from Trace Atkins, titled " You're gonna miss this" and I step back and realize that I really couldn't ask for more, I have everything I need right now and wouldn't change anything. It is what it is and what will be will be.

Thanks for reading,