Enough is Enough

This blog entry is difficult for me to submit for numerous reasons, but mainly letting you in on what I've been battling with within myself.

Enough is Enough.....I've had just about enough of many things going on in my life. If you were in my brain right now you would understand. See... I am a stubborn and strong willed, determined and hell bent woman when it comes to some decisions in my life - how I handle them reflects not only on my parents, but also has an impact on my daughter and how she may handle a similar situation when she's older.

Circumstances that prompted this blog is based on the song by Rodney Adkins - "if you're going thru hell" and Darryl Worley's "sounds like life to me" - a combination of the two if you will.

Right now "I'm going thru hell" in my own skin and being told that "it sounds like life" and it will work out like it's supposed to. Is it a mid life crisis I ask myself? No.... I'm too young for a mid life crisis. I used to be happy with me, happy with my decisions, no regrets, headstrong and well just a female version of a rebel.

I know what I have to do to get "me" back but listening to advice of others especially when I didn't ask for it just makes me feel that much more depressed, because I know they are right. I am well aware that I used to be a happy... always a smiling person. I didn't take too many things to heart but as I've gotten older - I find myself getting upset, irritated and just plain mad about things I used to let roll off my back, while at the same time trying as hard as I can to be strong and steadfast for the sake of not showing my weaknesses to my daughter so that perhaps she will be strong and steadfast should she experience this very thing I am experiencing within myself now.

But... I can't help but wonder if how I am handling it is wrong. Who is to say it's wrong? Who is to say it's right? All I know is I need my happy back... I'm working on it day by day and doing the best I can to work with myself to bring me back to where I need to be - a good mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend. For all that have been worried about me, know this... I am fine, I will be fine and I am taking steps to return to my former self instead of this depressed individual I have become.

Enough is enough