Tis the Season....

Merry Christmas Everyone!
This year has definitely had its ups and downs, achievements and failures, but in the end we are all thankful for what we have, who we can call our friends, and the love of our family and their support.

I have found it hard to get into the Christmas spirit this year (the decorating, the shopping, and the effort it all requires) but have not found it hard to get into the spirit of Christmas and it's real meaning. The economy may have our wallets begging for a refill, let us not forget the real celebration of the season. Jesus and his birth, our families and what we need - not what we want.

I have all I need this Christmas. I have the love of my husband, a healthy daughter, a supportive family, the best of friends and the most precious pet on the planet. We may not have an extravagant Christmas this year no thanks to our drowning economy (I was so positive up to this point - darn)

Bottom Line - Christmas is a time of reflection of your values, giving thanks to God for the love of your family, the support of your friends and all of your worldly possessions. Be Thankful for those who love you without question just as you are. I am... I don't need materials to feel loved.

May God bless each of you this Christmas -
Merry Christmas friends, family and all who read this and
Happy New Year!

Enough is Enough

This blog entry is difficult for me to submit for numerous reasons, but mainly letting you in on what I've been battling with within myself.

Enough is Enough.....I've had just about enough of many things going on in my life. If you were in my brain right now you would understand. See... I am a stubborn and strong willed, determined and hell bent woman when it comes to some decisions in my life - how I handle them reflects not only on my parents, but also has an impact on my daughter and how she may handle a similar situation when she's older.

Circumstances that prompted this blog is based on the song by Rodney Adkins - "if you're going thru hell" and Darryl Worley's "sounds like life to me" - a combination of the two if you will.

Right now "I'm going thru hell" in my own skin and being told that "it sounds like life" and it will work out like it's supposed to. Is it a mid life crisis I ask myself? No.... I'm too young for a mid life crisis. I used to be happy with me, happy with my decisions, no regrets, headstrong and well just a female version of a rebel.

I know what I have to do to get "me" back but listening to advice of others especially when I didn't ask for it just makes me feel that much more depressed, because I know they are right. I am well aware that I used to be a happy... always a smiling person. I didn't take too many things to heart but as I've gotten older - I find myself getting upset, irritated and just plain mad about things I used to let roll off my back, while at the same time trying as hard as I can to be strong and steadfast for the sake of not showing my weaknesses to my daughter so that perhaps she will be strong and steadfast should she experience this very thing I am experiencing within myself now.

But... I can't help but wonder if how I am handling it is wrong. Who is to say it's wrong? Who is to say it's right? All I know is I need my happy back... I'm working on it day by day and doing the best I can to work with myself to bring me back to where I need to be - a good mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend. For all that have been worried about me, know this... I am fine, I will be fine and I am taking steps to return to my former self instead of this depressed individual I have become.

Enough is enough

How Rude!

You know when I was growing up, people seemed to be a lot nicer and a whole lot more considerate... Today.... Not so much...

My daughter fell over the weekend and we thought that she broke her ankle, Thankfully it is NOT broken but.... she does have to use crutches for the week. The kids at school seem to be so unwilling to help her, she does have a ton and a half book bag. Teachers inconsiderate by not letting her out so she doesn't get ran over by other students while she's having to carry all her things AND walk with crutches... Then, as I am helping her get to the car at the end of the day, I ask two students before us to "hold the door please" what do they do.....???? Let it slam in her face.... Really? Come on!

Whatever happened to EVERYONE being equally important and people helping people? Long gone out and the window I guess. What has this world come to - rudeness everywhere you go? One day you may be on crutches or injured and in need of help and perhaps you will see what I'm talking about. The ONLY person who held the door for her was the Sheriff's deputy assigned to the school as a resource officer.

Kids without proper upbringing to be polite or considerate, their parents need their own asses beat and taught manners. Apparently they have no sense of responsibility of leadership to their children. Everyone is equal, no one person is better than the other regardless of clothing, appearance, acne, socail butterflies or those who chose to be silent and to themselves.

I guess what knocks us down when we get up without help, makes us stronger. But it is always nice to know that you can find out "who your friends are" when you're down in the valley and you're looking up because you feel you can't go any other way but up

Who is really right?

Ok 2 blogs in 1 day man I seem to be on a roll after over a year of no posts at all...

My brain has been buzzing over a concept regarding the North Carolina Department of Socail Services and Foster Parents... It has always been my thought that the DSS intervenes in a situation where a child or children are in a neglect or abusive situation and place them in care of foster family or another family member until the situation at hand is resolved (unfortunatley resolution is not always a factor the child/children are kept in the "system" for years until they are "of age" to "take care" of themselves)... Aparently some people just take things way too far and those who work for the "system" and those who "foster" come head to head on the well being of the child/children in care of one or the other.

Personally I could not be a foster parent not because I don't care but because I care too much, I become attached too much.. I want to fix what's broken and I put my whole heart into it and more often than not find that my help is too much or not enough.

I read this article and was shocked to find that DSS would revoke the license of a foster parent for "caring too much" by saying what needed to be said and apparently it was not what DSS wanted to hear. This foster family according to what I read was more than willing to take the child for a second time (after the child was removed at the request of the foster parents for the child taking things to the limit and being an unrully teenager) Since leaving this foster family, the child has been replaced and then removed from another family or two and now sits in Jail (for messing up too many times) to avoid going back to custody of DSS. This child wants to return to the foster family she left in the first place as since leaving learned many valuable lessons and says they want to change; which is what the first foster family was trying to help this child do in the first place.

I guess I have a question... does this particular social worker who has a "degree" in child phycoligy have children? Does this social worker really know what is in the best interest of a child, teenager etc.?

In today's society there are so many children in care of the state for whatever reason; some ligitamet some not. We're not "allowed" to disapline our children in public or some are fearful of disiplining their children in public because there may be that one person who thinks it is abuse vs. disapline and report that parent to DSS and totally disrupt a family's life. Personally spankings when I was little made me who I am today... I was fortunate to have a family that loves me dispite my flaws and I am so thankful that I can provide my child with that same lifestyle.

Bottom line... Children will test you, teenagers will push your buttons and even when they are adults (so I'm told) they will continue to rattle your cage from time to time... How you raise them matters, what you teach them when they're little will carry through. I am a big believer that children are truly a gift, don't destroy them... teach them, love them, provide a safe haven for them and they will show you thanks in return... There are entirely too many children in the "system" for whatever reason, they are being brainwashed that they aren't wanted by their "real" parents otherwise they wouldn't be where they are and making them travel from one home to another with nothing more than a food lion bag of clothes. - Then.... the child does everything in his/her power to rebel and that only makes things worse because "they aren't wanted". When they actually get in society, how are these children going to be as adults, has the "system" done all it can to make sure these children have a successful adulthood after being in the "system" or do these kids carry the same attitude they had grown to know?

Sorry to go off on a tangent but that really got under my skin and at the same time realize how thankful I am that I didn't have to grow up in the "system" and neither will my child.

Growing up and growing older

Hello all

It has been a LONG time since I blogged but thanks to Carla reminded me that we do have blogs - I figured I'd join in and update my blog as well.

Lizzie turned 14 over the summer, we were fortunate enough to be able to take her to the best place on earth - Disney World for her birthday, we all had a blast. She is now a freshman in high school - man I'm getting old, walking thru the halls at Dixon during orientation before school started reminded me of just how old I am and it also reminded me that change is not always a bad thing, I am pleased to report that there are more resourses available for the children - oops - young adults (teenagers)thanks to the rise in technology and grants received they have finally been put to good use.

Lizzie has had a love for horses forever and most of you know that she has been a frequent rider since she was 8. These photos are of her on Echo. She still loves the thrill of a good ride or the leisure of takin' it easy on a trail. I can report that she can text and talk while riding so all is well in that department, she calls it the best of both worlds. She hasn't participated in a show (barrel racing) in over a year but is currently training for upcoming Western Pleasure shows.

In other news... well there isn't that much to tell, we are living life, loving most parts of it, and laughing as much as we can.