What or Who Influences you?

Just this week my daughter had an essay to do for her Language Arts class on…. you guessed it….Influences. After explaining what influence was and then she decided on a person of influence, it made me think of a lot of things and a lot of people that has influenced me and donated (knowingly or not) knowledge to me and assisted me in becoming the person I am today. For those who know my family, know my daughter is knocking on the door of the teenage years, it often seems as she is beating the door down but in either case we are just about to embark on a new chapter in her life and influences are all around the good, the bad, and the ugly are everywhere. Which direction will she choose? Will she use the somewhat good but still underdeveloped judgment that she has or will she choose the path that leads to trouble, chaos and sleepless nights? Up until this essay I had not given much thought to how she will choose but only know that if she doesn’t choose correctly, there are consequences and repercussions to her poor judgment. I’ve been told a wise man learns off the mistakes of others while a fool learns from his own mistakes – there is truth to that but learning off our own mistakes makes us stronger and builds character doesn’t it?

Back to my intention for this blog….my influences…..where do I begin?...I’ll begin with my conscience. My conscience influences the decisions I make on a daily basis which ties into the way I was brought up by my family and what I learned from my friends and by watching those who weren’t so friendly. I learned early right from wrong (but we won’t discuss whether I was wise or a fool). Work ethic props go to my mother. Thanks mom for teaching me the value of a dollar and proving to me that there is no such thing as a seed that grows the money tree. Being a supportive wife (even when you don’t feel like it) props go to my Nana. She wakes every morning to prepare a “big breakfast” (as Lizzie calls it) for Granddaddy; she is super compassionate and extremely helpful. The playing prop goes to Dad, throwing a book of matches at the cashier in a convenience store just to make her smile – trademark I say. But… Unknowingly he also showed to me while I was young how to be mechanically inclined when it comes to home appliances (by letting me ride around with him to service the fine folks to Topsail Island with heat and air). And…… that Clorox and his favorite black Harley Davidson t-shirts don’t mix – Black fabric and Clorox make brown shirts – who knew? Who taught me that knowledge is power – my granddaddy – He reads the newspaper from front to back every day without fail, his brain is full of history, knowledge and experience. – Joe often says that he should be cloned and placed in a glass jar to break in case of emergency. To date he is 87 years young and can most likely work circles around the average 25 year old today. Being ready for the unexpected pitfalls of life is something I didn’t learn until I was married. My husband of 12 years this October has been so supportive of all we have accomplished and all we have yet to accomplish. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side and sometimes patience does pay off (I don’t have a lot of patience as it is- that is an inherited trait, but I’m working on it). He and I together can get through most anything (sometimes I wonder) but I trust him completely with my life and our life together. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt - trust your instinct and be helpful when you can – my 2nd dad - Stanley Padgett taught me that. He, came into our family in 1992 and married my mom in 1993. Setting goals, being self-helpful while being helpful to others, and learning how to be successful by not just practicing it but being consistent in it– Scott Erickson. He allowed me to grow and develop as a young woman in the world of Real Estate and although I miss it, I think he would agree that by moving forward instead of looking behind, it is probable that you will get farther in life. To be compassionate about what you do and who you are is a task all its own. But to be compassionate about others, their feelings and opinions at the same time is extraordinary – LD Smith is just that person. Not an opportunity passes LD by that he doesn’t go out of his way to speak to you, “How’s things goin’?” is usually the first sentence you hear when in the presence of LD. My grandma Judy has proven that the eye glare over the reading glasses really does work when you’re caught doing or saying something you know you shouldn’t – ask my mother – that glare was passed down and continues to be. My granddaddy Bogan proved that peppermints, candied orange slices and marshmallow peanuts are great treat in general but especially good during a church service. – I love and miss him. He never said too much but I can see him in heaven now in his rocking chair or washing a bushel of oysters and drinking a RC-cola. The power of perseverance, determination and overcoming the bad times in life – Michelle Wheeler. After all she has been through in the last year fighting breast cancer, she has remained positive, her head is up she’s finally getting back to the good side of life. She is humble, caring and a magnificent woman in general. Being a good friend, listening, and all that good stuff – props go to Valerie Dally, Christina Langrudi, Belinda Jones, and Michelle Taylor. These ladies are four of the most precious friends anyone could ask for. They lift you up when you’re down, they make you smile when you frown, we share thoughts, ideas, good times and bad together and somehow help each other make it through. Amy Shea – showed to me almost 20 years ago what a friend was and what a friend was supposed to be. We found each other a little over two years ago and although I haven’t seen her in person in 20 years, I feel like we picked up where we left off. Thanks Amy for that – Friendships of the right kind can last forever even when you’re out of touch. I could go on and on all day about the different people who have influenced my life good, bad and otherwise but I think it would be a boring blog especially to those that I may have incidentally overlooked. These are just a few that came to the top of my mind

Influence by being positive – not negative in every way you can. Everyone has bad days, everyone has dysfunctional family members, everyone doesn’t always come out on top (in their own book) but if you are true to who you are, no one can ask for anything more. If you are a person of influence – and you are whether you know it or not, be the best influence you can be. You will be rewarded for it by the smiles you create, the memories you make and the life you live.

Reflections and New Beginnings

As I reflect on the year that has blown past us, I wonder where has the year gone? It flew past me at the speed of light it seems but none the less, I’m healthy and blessed with another day in another year for now. I learned many lessons in 08’ some good, some not so good but any lesson learned (good or bad) benefit us in one way or another – right? I’ve come to realize that one person can make a difference in the life of another. I’ve watched change occur right before my eyes, history made, struggles met with victory and healing, accomplishments made and goals met and yet life still goes on. I wonder what 09’ holds – I know it holds a brand new niece in March and a niece or nephew in July.

“Resolutions” are like “rules” they are made to be broken and bent, so like my friend Carla, I will settle for “intentions” instead – but I will call it “aiming”. I aim to be a better wife and mother. I aim to take the time necessary to enjoy the simple things in life. It is often I realize how simple it is to get caught up in the hype of a fast paced world. “I want it done and I want it done now!” – damn it… Patience for those who truly know me is something I don’t have a whole lot of so….. being exposed to this “get it now” atmosphere is pleasing and frustrating to me all at the same time. I aim to be more patient in the year ahead and with A LOT of help and Chocolate - I can overcome it. I aim to be a better influence to those around me and not take small things and life to “personal” – if they’re out to get me - they’re out to get me and how I react reflects whether they “got” me or not. I aim to be organized like I used to be, the heritage (it runs in the family – I swear it does) of keeping things on the sole reason that “we might need it one day” is trickling down to my generation. – I aim to shake that family tradition and get my house, life, and whatever else on track and back to everything has a place. I felt better about myself and my life when I had structure in it; right now there is chaos and A LOT of it. I smell a yard sale very soon – I could “aim” to lose some infamous weight – HA! – I will give it a conscience effort but we will have to see. It can be done as it has been done in the past – we shall see.

With all that happened in my life in 2008, I can only look forward to what will come in 2009. I am blessed with a healthy family, the love of my husband, and so much more. Success in life is what we make it to be right? I intend to be successful in just that…. Life... Thank God for everyday I can put my feet on the floor and be with those I love and those who love me. I “aim” to start everyday with the best of “intentions” and hope for the best. – May each of you who read have a great Year in 2009.