Who is really right?

Ok 2 blogs in 1 day man I seem to be on a roll after over a year of no posts at all...

My brain has been buzzing over a concept regarding the North Carolina Department of Socail Services and Foster Parents... It has always been my thought that the DSS intervenes in a situation where a child or children are in a neglect or abusive situation and place them in care of foster family or another family member until the situation at hand is resolved (unfortunatley resolution is not always a factor the child/children are kept in the "system" for years until they are "of age" to "take care" of themselves)... Aparently some people just take things way too far and those who work for the "system" and those who "foster" come head to head on the well being of the child/children in care of one or the other.

Personally I could not be a foster parent not because I don't care but because I care too much, I become attached too much.. I want to fix what's broken and I put my whole heart into it and more often than not find that my help is too much or not enough.

I read this article and was shocked to find that DSS would revoke the license of a foster parent for "caring too much" by saying what needed to be said and apparently it was not what DSS wanted to hear. This foster family according to what I read was more than willing to take the child for a second time (after the child was removed at the request of the foster parents for the child taking things to the limit and being an unrully teenager) Since leaving this foster family, the child has been replaced and then removed from another family or two and now sits in Jail (for messing up too many times) to avoid going back to custody of DSS. This child wants to return to the foster family she left in the first place as since leaving learned many valuable lessons and says they want to change; which is what the first foster family was trying to help this child do in the first place.

I guess I have a question... does this particular social worker who has a "degree" in child phycoligy have children? Does this social worker really know what is in the best interest of a child, teenager etc.?

In today's society there are so many children in care of the state for whatever reason; some ligitamet some not. We're not "allowed" to disapline our children in public or some are fearful of disiplining their children in public because there may be that one person who thinks it is abuse vs. disapline and report that parent to DSS and totally disrupt a family's life. Personally spankings when I was little made me who I am today... I was fortunate to have a family that loves me dispite my flaws and I am so thankful that I can provide my child with that same lifestyle.

Bottom line... Children will test you, teenagers will push your buttons and even when they are adults (so I'm told) they will continue to rattle your cage from time to time... How you raise them matters, what you teach them when they're little will carry through. I am a big believer that children are truly a gift, don't destroy them... teach them, love them, provide a safe haven for them and they will show you thanks in return... There are entirely too many children in the "system" for whatever reason, they are being brainwashed that they aren't wanted by their "real" parents otherwise they wouldn't be where they are and making them travel from one home to another with nothing more than a food lion bag of clothes. - Then.... the child does everything in his/her power to rebel and that only makes things worse because "they aren't wanted". When they actually get in society, how are these children going to be as adults, has the "system" done all it can to make sure these children have a successful adulthood after being in the "system" or do these kids carry the same attitude they had grown to know?

Sorry to go off on a tangent but that really got under my skin and at the same time realize how thankful I am that I didn't have to grow up in the "system" and neither will my child.