Tis the Season....

Merry Christmas Everyone!
This year has definitely had its ups and downs, achievements and failures, but in the end we are all thankful for what we have, who we can call our friends, and the love of our family and their support.

I have found it hard to get into the Christmas spirit this year (the decorating, the shopping, and the effort it all requires) but have not found it hard to get into the spirit of Christmas and it's real meaning. The economy may have our wallets begging for a refill, let us not forget the real celebration of the season. Jesus and his birth, our families and what we need - not what we want.

I have all I need this Christmas. I have the love of my husband, a healthy daughter, a supportive family, the best of friends and the most precious pet on the planet. We may not have an extravagant Christmas this year no thanks to our drowning economy (I was so positive up to this point - darn)

Bottom Line - Christmas is a time of reflection of your values, giving thanks to God for the love of your family, the support of your friends and all of your worldly possessions. Be Thankful for those who love you without question just as you are. I am... I don't need materials to feel loved.

May God bless each of you this Christmas -
Merry Christmas friends, family and all who read this and
Happy New Year!

Enough is Enough

This blog entry is difficult for me to submit for numerous reasons, but mainly letting you in on what I've been battling with within myself.

Enough is Enough.....I've had just about enough of many things going on in my life. If you were in my brain right now you would understand. See... I am a stubborn and strong willed, determined and hell bent woman when it comes to some decisions in my life - how I handle them reflects not only on my parents, but also has an impact on my daughter and how she may handle a similar situation when she's older.

Circumstances that prompted this blog is based on the song by Rodney Adkins - "if you're going thru hell" and Darryl Worley's "sounds like life to me" - a combination of the two if you will.

Right now "I'm going thru hell" in my own skin and being told that "it sounds like life" and it will work out like it's supposed to. Is it a mid life crisis I ask myself? No.... I'm too young for a mid life crisis. I used to be happy with me, happy with my decisions, no regrets, headstrong and well just a female version of a rebel.

I know what I have to do to get "me" back but listening to advice of others especially when I didn't ask for it just makes me feel that much more depressed, because I know they are right. I am well aware that I used to be a happy... always a smiling person. I didn't take too many things to heart but as I've gotten older - I find myself getting upset, irritated and just plain mad about things I used to let roll off my back, while at the same time trying as hard as I can to be strong and steadfast for the sake of not showing my weaknesses to my daughter so that perhaps she will be strong and steadfast should she experience this very thing I am experiencing within myself now.

But... I can't help but wonder if how I am handling it is wrong. Who is to say it's wrong? Who is to say it's right? All I know is I need my happy back... I'm working on it day by day and doing the best I can to work with myself to bring me back to where I need to be - a good mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend. For all that have been worried about me, know this... I am fine, I will be fine and I am taking steps to return to my former self instead of this depressed individual I have become.

Enough is enough

How Rude!

You know when I was growing up, people seemed to be a lot nicer and a whole lot more considerate... Today.... Not so much...

My daughter fell over the weekend and we thought that she broke her ankle, Thankfully it is NOT broken but.... she does have to use crutches for the week. The kids at school seem to be so unwilling to help her, she does have a ton and a half book bag. Teachers inconsiderate by not letting her out so she doesn't get ran over by other students while she's having to carry all her things AND walk with crutches... Then, as I am helping her get to the car at the end of the day, I ask two students before us to "hold the door please" what do they do.....???? Let it slam in her face.... Really? Come on!

Whatever happened to EVERYONE being equally important and people helping people? Long gone out and the window I guess. What has this world come to - rudeness everywhere you go? One day you may be on crutches or injured and in need of help and perhaps you will see what I'm talking about. The ONLY person who held the door for her was the Sheriff's deputy assigned to the school as a resource officer.

Kids without proper upbringing to be polite or considerate, their parents need their own asses beat and taught manners. Apparently they have no sense of responsibility of leadership to their children. Everyone is equal, no one person is better than the other regardless of clothing, appearance, acne, socail butterflies or those who chose to be silent and to themselves.

I guess what knocks us down when we get up without help, makes us stronger. But it is always nice to know that you can find out "who your friends are" when you're down in the valley and you're looking up because you feel you can't go any other way but up

Who is really right?

Ok 2 blogs in 1 day man I seem to be on a roll after over a year of no posts at all...

My brain has been buzzing over a concept regarding the North Carolina Department of Socail Services and Foster Parents... It has always been my thought that the DSS intervenes in a situation where a child or children are in a neglect or abusive situation and place them in care of foster family or another family member until the situation at hand is resolved (unfortunatley resolution is not always a factor the child/children are kept in the "system" for years until they are "of age" to "take care" of themselves)... Aparently some people just take things way too far and those who work for the "system" and those who "foster" come head to head on the well being of the child/children in care of one or the other.

Personally I could not be a foster parent not because I don't care but because I care too much, I become attached too much.. I want to fix what's broken and I put my whole heart into it and more often than not find that my help is too much or not enough.

I read this article and was shocked to find that DSS would revoke the license of a foster parent for "caring too much" by saying what needed to be said and apparently it was not what DSS wanted to hear. This foster family according to what I read was more than willing to take the child for a second time (after the child was removed at the request of the foster parents for the child taking things to the limit and being an unrully teenager) Since leaving this foster family, the child has been replaced and then removed from another family or two and now sits in Jail (for messing up too many times) to avoid going back to custody of DSS. This child wants to return to the foster family she left in the first place as since leaving learned many valuable lessons and says they want to change; which is what the first foster family was trying to help this child do in the first place.

I guess I have a question... does this particular social worker who has a "degree" in child phycoligy have children? Does this social worker really know what is in the best interest of a child, teenager etc.?

In today's society there are so many children in care of the state for whatever reason; some ligitamet some not. We're not "allowed" to disapline our children in public or some are fearful of disiplining their children in public because there may be that one person who thinks it is abuse vs. disapline and report that parent to DSS and totally disrupt a family's life. Personally spankings when I was little made me who I am today... I was fortunate to have a family that loves me dispite my flaws and I am so thankful that I can provide my child with that same lifestyle.

Bottom line... Children will test you, teenagers will push your buttons and even when they are adults (so I'm told) they will continue to rattle your cage from time to time... How you raise them matters, what you teach them when they're little will carry through. I am a big believer that children are truly a gift, don't destroy them... teach them, love them, provide a safe haven for them and they will show you thanks in return... There are entirely too many children in the "system" for whatever reason, they are being brainwashed that they aren't wanted by their "real" parents otherwise they wouldn't be where they are and making them travel from one home to another with nothing more than a food lion bag of clothes. - Then.... the child does everything in his/her power to rebel and that only makes things worse because "they aren't wanted". When they actually get in society, how are these children going to be as adults, has the "system" done all it can to make sure these children have a successful adulthood after being in the "system" or do these kids carry the same attitude they had grown to know?

Sorry to go off on a tangent but that really got under my skin and at the same time realize how thankful I am that I didn't have to grow up in the "system" and neither will my child.

Growing up and growing older

Hello all

It has been a LONG time since I blogged but thanks to Carla reminded me that we do have blogs - I figured I'd join in and update my blog as well.

Lizzie turned 14 over the summer, we were fortunate enough to be able to take her to the best place on earth - Disney World for her birthday, we all had a blast. She is now a freshman in high school - man I'm getting old, walking thru the halls at Dixon during orientation before school started reminded me of just how old I am and it also reminded me that change is not always a bad thing, I am pleased to report that there are more resourses available for the children - oops - young adults (teenagers)thanks to the rise in technology and grants received they have finally been put to good use.

Lizzie has had a love for horses forever and most of you know that she has been a frequent rider since she was 8. These photos are of her on Echo. She still loves the thrill of a good ride or the leisure of takin' it easy on a trail. I can report that she can text and talk while riding so all is well in that department, she calls it the best of both worlds. She hasn't participated in a show (barrel racing) in over a year but is currently training for upcoming Western Pleasure shows.

In other news... well there isn't that much to tell, we are living life, loving most parts of it, and laughing as much as we can.

What or Who Influences you?

Just this week my daughter had an essay to do for her Language Arts class on…. you guessed it….Influences. After explaining what influence was and then she decided on a person of influence, it made me think of a lot of things and a lot of people that has influenced me and donated (knowingly or not) knowledge to me and assisted me in becoming the person I am today. For those who know my family, know my daughter is knocking on the door of the teenage years, it often seems as she is beating the door down but in either case we are just about to embark on a new chapter in her life and influences are all around the good, the bad, and the ugly are everywhere. Which direction will she choose? Will she use the somewhat good but still underdeveloped judgment that she has or will she choose the path that leads to trouble, chaos and sleepless nights? Up until this essay I had not given much thought to how she will choose but only know that if she doesn’t choose correctly, there are consequences and repercussions to her poor judgment. I’ve been told a wise man learns off the mistakes of others while a fool learns from his own mistakes – there is truth to that but learning off our own mistakes makes us stronger and builds character doesn’t it?

Back to my intention for this blog….my influences…..where do I begin?...I’ll begin with my conscience. My conscience influences the decisions I make on a daily basis which ties into the way I was brought up by my family and what I learned from my friends and by watching those who weren’t so friendly. I learned early right from wrong (but we won’t discuss whether I was wise or a fool). Work ethic props go to my mother. Thanks mom for teaching me the value of a dollar and proving to me that there is no such thing as a seed that grows the money tree. Being a supportive wife (even when you don’t feel like it) props go to my Nana. She wakes every morning to prepare a “big breakfast” (as Lizzie calls it) for Granddaddy; she is super compassionate and extremely helpful. The playing prop goes to Dad, throwing a book of matches at the cashier in a convenience store just to make her smile – trademark I say. But… Unknowingly he also showed to me while I was young how to be mechanically inclined when it comes to home appliances (by letting me ride around with him to service the fine folks to Topsail Island with heat and air). And…… that Clorox and his favorite black Harley Davidson t-shirts don’t mix – Black fabric and Clorox make brown shirts – who knew? Who taught me that knowledge is power – my granddaddy – He reads the newspaper from front to back every day without fail, his brain is full of history, knowledge and experience. – Joe often says that he should be cloned and placed in a glass jar to break in case of emergency. To date he is 87 years young and can most likely work circles around the average 25 year old today. Being ready for the unexpected pitfalls of life is something I didn’t learn until I was married. My husband of 12 years this October has been so supportive of all we have accomplished and all we have yet to accomplish. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side and sometimes patience does pay off (I don’t have a lot of patience as it is- that is an inherited trait, but I’m working on it). He and I together can get through most anything (sometimes I wonder) but I trust him completely with my life and our life together. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt - trust your instinct and be helpful when you can – my 2nd dad - Stanley Padgett taught me that. He, came into our family in 1992 and married my mom in 1993. Setting goals, being self-helpful while being helpful to others, and learning how to be successful by not just practicing it but being consistent in it– Scott Erickson. He allowed me to grow and develop as a young woman in the world of Real Estate and although I miss it, I think he would agree that by moving forward instead of looking behind, it is probable that you will get farther in life. To be compassionate about what you do and who you are is a task all its own. But to be compassionate about others, their feelings and opinions at the same time is extraordinary – LD Smith is just that person. Not an opportunity passes LD by that he doesn’t go out of his way to speak to you, “How’s things goin’?” is usually the first sentence you hear when in the presence of LD. My grandma Judy has proven that the eye glare over the reading glasses really does work when you’re caught doing or saying something you know you shouldn’t – ask my mother – that glare was passed down and continues to be. My granddaddy Bogan proved that peppermints, candied orange slices and marshmallow peanuts are great treat in general but especially good during a church service. – I love and miss him. He never said too much but I can see him in heaven now in his rocking chair or washing a bushel of oysters and drinking a RC-cola. The power of perseverance, determination and overcoming the bad times in life – Michelle Wheeler. After all she has been through in the last year fighting breast cancer, she has remained positive, her head is up she’s finally getting back to the good side of life. She is humble, caring and a magnificent woman in general. Being a good friend, listening, and all that good stuff – props go to Valerie Dally, Christina Langrudi, Belinda Jones, and Michelle Taylor. These ladies are four of the most precious friends anyone could ask for. They lift you up when you’re down, they make you smile when you frown, we share thoughts, ideas, good times and bad together and somehow help each other make it through. Amy Shea – showed to me almost 20 years ago what a friend was and what a friend was supposed to be. We found each other a little over two years ago and although I haven’t seen her in person in 20 years, I feel like we picked up where we left off. Thanks Amy for that – Friendships of the right kind can last forever even when you’re out of touch. I could go on and on all day about the different people who have influenced my life good, bad and otherwise but I think it would be a boring blog especially to those that I may have incidentally overlooked. These are just a few that came to the top of my mind

Influence by being positive – not negative in every way you can. Everyone has bad days, everyone has dysfunctional family members, everyone doesn’t always come out on top (in their own book) but if you are true to who you are, no one can ask for anything more. If you are a person of influence – and you are whether you know it or not, be the best influence you can be. You will be rewarded for it by the smiles you create, the memories you make and the life you live.

Reflections and New Beginnings

As I reflect on the year that has blown past us, I wonder where has the year gone? It flew past me at the speed of light it seems but none the less, I’m healthy and blessed with another day in another year for now. I learned many lessons in 08’ some good, some not so good but any lesson learned (good or bad) benefit us in one way or another – right? I’ve come to realize that one person can make a difference in the life of another. I’ve watched change occur right before my eyes, history made, struggles met with victory and healing, accomplishments made and goals met and yet life still goes on. I wonder what 09’ holds – I know it holds a brand new niece in March and a niece or nephew in July.

“Resolutions” are like “rules” they are made to be broken and bent, so like my friend Carla, I will settle for “intentions” instead – but I will call it “aiming”. I aim to be a better wife and mother. I aim to take the time necessary to enjoy the simple things in life. It is often I realize how simple it is to get caught up in the hype of a fast paced world. “I want it done and I want it done now!” – damn it… Patience for those who truly know me is something I don’t have a whole lot of so….. being exposed to this “get it now” atmosphere is pleasing and frustrating to me all at the same time. I aim to be more patient in the year ahead and with A LOT of help and Chocolate - I can overcome it. I aim to be a better influence to those around me and not take small things and life to “personal” – if they’re out to get me - they’re out to get me and how I react reflects whether they “got” me or not. I aim to be organized like I used to be, the heritage (it runs in the family – I swear it does) of keeping things on the sole reason that “we might need it one day” is trickling down to my generation. – I aim to shake that family tradition and get my house, life, and whatever else on track and back to everything has a place. I felt better about myself and my life when I had structure in it; right now there is chaos and A LOT of it. I smell a yard sale very soon – I could “aim” to lose some infamous weight – HA! – I will give it a conscience effort but we will have to see. It can be done as it has been done in the past – we shall see.

With all that happened in my life in 2008, I can only look forward to what will come in 2009. I am blessed with a healthy family, the love of my husband, and so much more. Success in life is what we make it to be right? I intend to be successful in just that…. Life... Thank God for everyday I can put my feet on the floor and be with those I love and those who love me. I “aim” to start everyday with the best of “intentions” and hope for the best. – May each of you who read have a great Year in 2009.