It is what it is

I Miss Mayberry

2012-01-06T11:28:00.001-08:00

If you're a part of today's world, you have come to know that the speed of "life" has been put into fast forward. Patience is no longer a virtue and I am the most important person to everyone I know... Ha! Right!

Your neighbors used to be your friends, but your friends now consist of the contact list in your cell phone and your facebook profile. Lets be honest, how often do you talk to half the people on your facebook profile? Nine out of Ten of those who have a facebook have hundreds of "friends" to keep tabs on who is doing what, when they are doing and who they invited to do it with them only to be disappointed that although they are "friends" you weren't invited to participate. And then... deleting that "friend" Really???

As I am sure that I am not the only one that has noticed a Sunday afternoon on the couch watching a movie or doing something as a family has gone by the wayside. Everyone always has to be busy doing something. Kids and teenagers don't go outside to play or hang out anymore, if their cell phones had less than 5 minutes of action, they would completely die (truthfully speaking, I know some adults the same way) or if the computer or TV were off or out of service for a day, they might just have a meltdown, they are out of touch with the rest of the world. What ever happened to the slower pace? Why do we insist of using every single minute of every single day just to say we are doing something regardless of the importance of the task at hand.. We're always busy and failing to see that what we are doing is nothing more than passing the time and then complaining we never have enough time to do what "we want" to do. We spend the spring planting the roses but yet we never take the time to stop and smell them when they bloom.

I remember growing up, our Mayberry, if you will; consisted of my aunts and uncles playing horseshoes, riding four wheelers in the 9 mile with my cousins and their cousins, walking in the woods with the entire family after Nana's wonderful nap worthy dinner just to walk, going out on the boat with Uncle Greg and Aunt Wanda, going crabbing down at the dock, and lets not forget the sound of Nascar playing on the radio in the background of each and every family event held outside in the summertime.

Modern Day reality: I was in a local store this week and the cashier was just as pleasant as she could be, in some instances overdoing it but never the less, she was doing her job to the very best of her ability. A local off duty police officer pardoned her counter, there was a line behind him and the cashier was making small talk with the gentleman. She asked him about a service she was interested in as she knew he was an businessman outside of his "day job" the small talk commenced while she was ringing him up and he needed her contact information to set up an appointment to meet with her outside of her work. While he was processing his own credit card to pay for his purchase, the cashier began to write down her contact information (all the while the woman next in line is huffing and puffing and tapping her foot, quite loudly I might add) and then the woman in line said, "of course you're gonna do that before you wait on me" - it took a matter of 2 seconds to write down her info and give to the off duty police officer - and without skipping a beat the cashier said to the woman, "Mam, I'm sorry you're having a bad day, what can I do for you today? Is this all you need today?" just as pleasant to her as she was to the customer before. Mayberry still exists but it is rarely exercised by many. This cashier was not "slow" in ringing up the police officer but she wasn't working on improving her ringing speed either, she was doing her job and interacting with the customers as her job description outlines.
Its as if we are living in the life of Marty McFly in Back to the Future part II. The faster we can get what we think we need to have, the better we like it and if the speed isn't up to par, lets complain about it and see what we can get for free for our "inconvenience". Oh please!.

Has anyone else noticed that these "modern technologies" has in fact made our lives harder rather than easier? I'm guilty too, I don't understand why adobe is so hard to install on a computer so I can send someone a PDF vs. a word document but if it's not a necessity for them to have it, it's not that hard for me to print the paper and give it to them. Although I will admit, I do tease them about technology and their rebellion against it. However, it is that very rebellion that prompted this blog and finding Mayberry again.

Toby Keith's "American Ride" is full blast... If it wasn't for those without a pound of patience to spare we would still be pushing on the old fashioned way knowing that a paper trail never lets you down unlike a computer where you can simply hit the delete button by "accident" and poof all records are gone - or are they?. Mayberry for some has in fact been put in the recycle bin and that bin has been emptied. Everyone is trying to out do each other with ideas, concepts, money, material things and no one is focusing on the outcome of what they are so quickly trying to achieve. The outcome will without a doubt be loneliness, heartache, disappointment and wonder; the wonder of what went wrong and why it worked for one but not them.
I saw a statement asking the question who was the better president, Regan or Obama... Personally, that was a stupid question for someone to even consider asking however... If Mayberry were reintroduced to the American People, our children may not be the future liars and thieves that use laziness as a disability to reap on "assistance" from the government. The government isn't assisting - You and I are, we're footing the bill each and every payday so that one day we can get a retirement that may never come. But that's another blog all in itself. If you have the opportunity take a moment to listen to the song - it's avialable on youtube, but you knew that already.

Bottom line....
Mayberry is family, true friends and a lifestyle that revolves around just that. This year, Mayberry is my goal not my resolution and there is NO app for it.

Try Not to become a Man of Success... but a Man of Value - Albert Einstein

Finally Home

2011-02-04T05:36:00.000-08:00

I feel the need to post this blog to help my heart heal, my memories stay alive and bring closure to what may be the end of an earthly life but a beginning to a new life. This week, my Granddaddy went to heaven after 89 busy years here on earth. As I reflect on his life and the effect he had on mine, I know he loved me, I know that the man he was helped to shape me.

I recall the stories he told of his time as a young man, and the simplicity of life (although most of us today couldn't do what they did back then). The times were tough but the family ties were strong. The work was hard but in the end, the satisfaction of a hard days work and a loving family at home was worth the sweat that fell from his brow that day or the sore muscles that were awaiting him the next. The routine of his daily life never seemed to stray far from what he had always known; breakfast, read the ENTIRE newspaper and then get to work on doing something.

Growing up although I never fully understood his way of thinking, he didn't share much information but he always knew what he wanted the outcome to be, that outcome was security; security for his family, their future and his own peace of mind. He worked hard all his life, even in "retirement" he remained busy with different things only resting in the evening after the sun went down. But I know now his mind never stopped churning on what he was going to do the next day, the next week or the next month. He always had something in the works. Look in our family dictionary and look up the word Responsible - the definition is Dougie. My husband used to say that his mind needed to be placed in a glass box and only broke in case of emergency. Minds and a memory as good as his were are few and far between. He rarely forgot a name, face or person. His mind was in tacked and as sharp as it ever was up until the day he passed.

Precious Memories are all I have now of one of the greatest men I will ever know. I know he's upstairs looking down on us, watching over us all the while meeting up with old friends and family and tinkering on something while waiting to see us again. He touched many people in many different ways. He left an impression on his children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and extended family.

We love you Granddaddy and we will never forget you, your lessons, or the example you have left for us. "Thank you for coming" and sharing your life with us. We were blessed to have you and proud to call you Granddaddy. May your rest be peaceful until we meet again.

Thank you to everyone who has put up a prayer for our family, sent flowers, food, and condolences.

Tis the Season....

2010-12-07T10:48:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!
This year has definitely had its ups and downs, achievements and failures, but in the end we are all thankful for what we have, who we can call our friends, and the love of our family and their support.

I have found it hard to get into the Christmas spirit this year (the decorating, the shopping, and the effort it all requires) but have not found it hard to get into the spirit of Christmas and it's real meaning. The economy may have our wallets begging for a refill, let us not forget the real celebration of the season. Jesus and his birth, our families and what we need - not what we want.

I have all I need this Christmas. I have the love of my husband, a healthy daughter, a supportive family, the best of friends and the most precious pet on the planet. We may not have an extravagant Christmas this year no thanks to our drowning economy (I was so positive up to this point - darn)

Bottom Line - Christmas is a time of reflection of your values, giving thanks to God for the love of your family, the support of your friends and all of your worldly possessions. Be Thankful for those who love you without question just as you are. I am... I don't need materials to feel loved.

May God bless each of you this Christmas -
Merry Christmas friends, family and all who read this and
Happy New Year!

Enough is Enough

2010-11-19T11:52:00.000-08:00

This blog entry is difficult for me to submit for numerous reasons, but mainly letting you in on what I've been battling with within myself.

Enough is Enough.....I've had just about enough of many things going on in my life. If you were in my brain right now you would understand. See... I am a stubborn and strong willed, determined and hell bent woman when it comes to some decisions in my life - how I handle them reflects not only on my parents, but also has an impact on my daughter and how she may handle a similar situation when she's older.

Circumstances that prompted this blog is based on the song by Rodney Adkins - "if you're going thru hell" and Darryl Worley's "sounds like life to me" - a combination of the two if you will.

Right now "I'm going thru hell" in my own skin and being told that "it sounds like life" and it will work out like it's supposed to. Is it a mid life crisis I ask myself? No.... I'm too young for a mid life crisis. I used to be happy with me, happy with my decisions, no regrets, headstrong and well just a female version of a rebel.

I know what I have to do to get "me" back but listening to advice of others especially when I didn't ask for it just makes me feel that much more depressed, because I know they are right. I am well aware that I used to be a happy... always a smiling person. I didn't take too many things to heart but as I've gotten older - I find myself getting upset, irritated and just plain mad about things I used to let roll off my back, while at the same time trying as hard as I can to be strong and steadfast for the sake of not showing my weaknesses to my daughter so that perhaps she will be strong and steadfast should she experience this very thing I am experiencing within myself now.

But... I can't help but wonder if how I am handling it is wrong. Who is to say it's wrong? Who is to say it's right? All I know is I need my happy back... I'm working on it day by day and doing the best I can to work with myself to bring me back to where I need to be - a good mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend. For all that have been worried about me, know this... I am fine, I will be fine and I am taking steps to return to my former self instead of this depressed individual I have become.

Enough is enough

How Rude!

2010-10-26T13:26:00.000-07:00

You know when I was growing up, people seemed to be a lot nicer and a whole lot more considerate... Today.... Not so much...

My daughter fell over the weekend and we thought that she broke her ankle, Thankfully it is NOT broken but.... she does have to use crutches for the week. The kids at school seem to be so unwilling to help her, she does have a ton and a half book bag. Teachers inconsiderate by not letting her out so she doesn't get ran over by other students while she's having to carry all her things AND walk with crutches... Then, as I am helping her get to the car at the end of the day, I ask two students before us to "hold the door please" what do they do.....???? Let it slam in her face.... Really? Come on!

Whatever happened to EVERYONE being equally important and people helping people? Long gone out and the window I guess. What has this world come to - rudeness everywhere you go? One day you may be on crutches or injured and in need of help and perhaps you will see what I'm talking about. The ONLY person who held the door for her was the Sheriff's deputy assigned to the school as a resource officer.

Kids without proper upbringing to be polite or considerate, their parents need their own asses beat and taught manners. Apparently they have no sense of responsibility of leadership to their children. Everyone is equal, no one person is better than the other regardless of clothing, appearance, acne, socail butterflies or those who chose to be silent and to themselves.

I guess what knocks us down when we get up without help, makes us stronger. But it is always nice to know that you can find out "who your friends are" when you're down in the valley and you're looking up because you feel you can't go any other way but up

Who is really right?

2010-10-15T09:27:00.001-07:00

Ok 2 blogs in 1 day man I seem to be on a roll after over a year of no posts at all...

My brain has been buzzing over a concept regarding the North Carolina Department of Socail Services and Foster Parents... It has always been my thought that the DSS intervenes in a situation where a child or children are in a neglect or abusive situation and place them in care of foster family or another family member until the situation at hand is resolved (unfortunatley resolution is not always a factor the child/children are kept in the "system" for years until they are "of age" to "take care" of themselves)... Aparently some people just take things way too far and those who work for the "system" and those who "foster" come head to head on the well being of the child/children in care of one or the other.

Personally I could not be a foster parent not because I don't care but because I care too much, I become attached too much.. I want to fix what's broken and I put my whole heart into it and more often than not find that my help is too much or not enough.

I read this article and was shocked to find that DSS would revoke the license of a foster parent for "caring too much" by saying what needed to be said and apparently it was not what DSS wanted to hear. This foster family according to what I read was more than willing to take the child for a second time (after the child was removed at the request of the foster parents for the child taking things to the limit and being an unrully teenager) Since leaving this foster family, the child has been replaced and then removed from another family or two and now sits in Jail (for messing up too many times) to avoid going back to custody of DSS. This child wants to return to the foster family she left in the first place as since leaving learned many valuable lessons and says they want to change; which is what the first foster family was trying to help this child do in the first place.

I guess I have a question... does this particular social worker who has a "degree" in child phycoligy have children? Does this social worker really know what is in the best interest of a child, teenager etc.?

In today's society there are so many children in care of the state for whatever reason; some ligitamet some not. We're not "allowed" to disapline our children in public or some are fearful of disiplining their children in public because there may be that one person who thinks it is abuse vs. disapline and report that parent to DSS and totally disrupt a family's life. Personally spankings when I was little made me who I am today... I was fortunate to have a family that loves me dispite my flaws and I am so thankful that I can provide my child with that same lifestyle.

Bottom line... Children will test you, teenagers will push your buttons and even when they are adults (so I'm told) they will continue to rattle your cage from time to time... How you raise them matters, what you teach them when they're little will carry through. I am a big believer that children are truly a gift, don't destroy them... teach them, love them, provide a safe haven for them and they will show you thanks in return... There are entirely too many children in the "system" for whatever reason, they are being brainwashed that they aren't wanted by their "real" parents otherwise they wouldn't be where they are and making them travel from one home to another with nothing more than a food lion bag of clothes. - Then.... the child does everything in his/her power to rebel and that only makes things worse because "they aren't wanted". When they actually get in society, how are these children going to be as adults, has the "system" done all it can to make sure these children have a successful adulthood after being in the "system" or do these kids carry the same attitude they had grown to know?

Sorry to go off on a tangent but that really got under my skin and at the same time realize how thankful I am that I didn't have to grow up in the "system" and neither will my child.

Growing up and growing older

2010-10-15T05:44:00.000-07:00

Hello all

It has been a LONG time since I blogged but thanks to Carla reminded me that we do have blogs - I figured I'd join in and update my blog as well.

Lizzie turned 14 over the summer, we were fortunate enough to be able to take her to the best place on earth - Disney World for her birthday, we all had a blast. She is now a freshman in high school - man I'm getting old, walking thru the halls at Dixon during orientation before school started reminded me of just how old I am and it also reminded me that change is not always a bad thing, I am pleased to report that there are more resourses available for the children - oops - young adults (teenagers)thanks to the rise in technology and grants received they have finally been put to good use.

Lizzie has had a love for horses forever and most of you know that she has been a frequent rider since she was 8. These photos are of her on Echo. She still loves the thrill of a good ride or the leisure of takin' it easy on a trail. I can report that she can text and talk while riding so all is well in that department, she calls it the best of both worlds. She hasn't participated in a show (barrel racing) in over a year but is currently training for upcoming Western Pleasure shows.

In other news... well there isn't that much to tell, we are living life, loving most parts of it, and laughing as much as we can.

What or Who Influences you?

2009-02-11T10:44:00.001-08:00

Just this week my daughter had an essay to do for her Language Arts class on…. you guessed it….Influences. After explaining what influence was and then she decided on a person of influence, it made me think of a lot of things and a lot of people that has influenced me and donated (knowingly or not) knowledge to me and assisted me in becoming the person I am today. For those who know my family, know my daughter is knocking on the door of the teenage years, it often seems as she is beating the door down but in either case we are just about to embark on a new chapter in her life and influences are all around the good, the bad, and the ugly are everywhere. Which direction will she choose? Will she use the somewhat good but still underdeveloped judgment that she has or will she choose the path that leads to trouble, chaos and sleepless nights? Up until this essay I had not given much thought to how she will choose but only know that if she doesn’t choose correctly, there are consequences and repercussions to her poor judgment. I’ve been told a wise man learns off the mistakes of others while a fool learns from his own mistakes – there is truth to that but learning off our own mistakes makes us stronger and builds character doesn’t it?

Back to my intention for this blog….my influences…..where do I begin?...I’ll begin with my conscience. My conscience influences the decisions I make on a daily basis which ties into the way I was brought up by my family and what I learned from my friends and by watching those who weren’t so friendly. I learned early right from wrong (but we won’t discuss whether I was wise or a fool). Work ethic props go to my mother. Thanks mom for teaching me the value of a dollar and proving to me that there is no such thing as a seed that grows the money tree. Being a supportive wife (even when you don’t feel like it) props go to my Nana. She wakes every morning to prepare a “big breakfast” (as Lizzie calls it) for Granddaddy; she is super compassionate and extremely helpful. The playing prop goes to Dad, throwing a book of matches at the cashier in a convenience store just to make her smile – trademark I say. But… Unknowingly he also showed to me while I was young how to be mechanically inclined when it comes to home appliances (by letting me ride around with him to service the fine folks to Topsail Island with heat and air). And…… that Clorox and his favorite black Harley Davidson t-shirts don’t mix – Black fabric and Clorox make brown shirts – who knew? Who taught me that knowledge is power – my granddaddy – He reads the newspaper from front to back every day without fail, his brain is full of history, knowledge and experience. – Joe often says that he should be cloned and placed in a glass jar to break in case of emergency. To date he is 87 years young and can most likely work circles around the average 25 year old today. Being ready for the unexpected pitfalls of life is something I didn’t learn until I was married. My husband of 12 years this October has been so supportive of all we have accomplished and all we have yet to accomplish. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side and sometimes patience does pay off (I don’t have a lot of patience as it is- that is an inherited trait, but I’m working on it). He and I together can get through most anything (sometimes I wonder) but I trust him completely with my life and our life together. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt - trust your instinct and be helpful when you can – my 2nd dad - Stanley Padgett taught me that. He, came into our family in 1992 and married my mom in 1993. Setting goals, being self-helpful while being helpful to others, and learning how to be successful by not just practicing it but being consistent in it– Scott Erickson. He allowed me to grow and develop as a young woman in the world of Real Estate and although I miss it, I think he would agree that by moving forward instead of looking behind, it is probable that you will get farther in life. To be compassionate about what you do and who you are is a task all its own. But to be compassionate about others, their feelings and opinions at the same time is extraordinary – LD Smith is just that person. Not an opportunity passes LD by that he doesn’t go out of his way to speak to you, “How’s things goin’?” is usually the first sentence you hear when in the presence of LD. My grandma Judy has proven that the eye glare over the reading glasses really does work when you’re caught doing or saying something you know you shouldn’t – ask my mother – that glare was passed down and continues to be. My granddaddy Bogan proved that peppermints, candied orange slices and marshmallow peanuts are great treat in general but especially good during a church service. – I love and miss him. He never said too much but I can see him in heaven now in his rocking chair or washing a bushel of oysters and drinking a RC-cola. The power of perseverance, determination and overcoming the bad times in life – Michelle Wheeler. After all she has been through in the last year fighting breast cancer, she has remained positive, her head is up she’s finally getting back to the good side of life. She is humble, caring and a magnificent woman in general. Being a good friend, listening, and all that good stuff – props go to Valerie Dally, Christina Langrudi, Belinda Jones, and Michelle Taylor. These ladies are four of the most precious friends anyone could ask for. They lift you up when you’re down, they make you smile when you frown, we share thoughts, ideas, good times and bad together and somehow help each other make it through. Amy Shea – showed to me almost 20 years ago what a friend was and what a friend was supposed to be. We found each other a little over two years ago and although I haven’t seen her in person in 20 years, I feel like we picked up where we left off. Thanks Amy for that – Friendships of the right kind can last forever even when you’re out of touch. I could go on and on all day about the different people who have influenced my life good, bad and otherwise but I think it would be a boring blog especially to those that I may have incidentally overlooked. These are just a few that came to the top of my mind

Influence by being positive – not negative in every way you can. Everyone has bad days, everyone has dysfunctional family members, everyone doesn’t always come out on top (in their own book) but if you are true to who you are, no one can ask for anything more. If you are a person of influence – and you are whether you know it or not, be the best influence you can be. You will be rewarded for it by the smiles you create, the memories you make and the life you live.

Reflections and New Beginnings

2009-01-02T07:30:00.000-08:00

As I reflect on the year that has blown past us, I wonder where has the year gone? It flew past me at the speed of light it seems but none the less, I’m healthy and blessed with another day in another year for now. I learned many lessons in 08’ some good, some not so good but any lesson learned (good or bad) benefit us in one way or another – right? I’ve come to realize that one person can make a difference in the life of another. I’ve watched change occur right before my eyes, history made, struggles met with victory and healing, accomplishments made and goals met and yet life still goes on. I wonder what 09’ holds – I know it holds a brand new niece in March and a niece or nephew in July.

“Resolutions” are like “rules” they are made to be broken and bent, so like my friend Carla, I will settle for “intentions” instead – but I will call it “aiming”. I aim to be a better wife and mother. I aim to take the time necessary to enjoy the simple things in life. It is often I realize how simple it is to get caught up in the hype of a fast paced world. “I want it done and I want it done now!” – damn it… Patience for those who truly know me is something I don’t have a whole lot of so….. being exposed to this “get it now” atmosphere is pleasing and frustrating to me all at the same time. I aim to be more patient in the year ahead and with A LOT of help and Chocolate - I can overcome it. I aim to be a better influence to those around me and not take small things and life to “personal” – if they’re out to get me - they’re out to get me and how I react reflects whether they “got” me or not. I aim to be organized like I used to be, the heritage (it runs in the family – I swear it does) of keeping things on the sole reason that “we might need it one day” is trickling down to my generation. – I aim to shake that family tradition and get my house, life, and whatever else on track and back to everything has a place. I felt better about myself and my life when I had structure in it; right now there is chaos and A LOT of it. I smell a yard sale very soon – I could “aim” to lose some infamous weight – HA! – I will give it a conscience effort but we will have to see. It can be done as it has been done in the past – we shall see.

With all that happened in my life in 2008, I can only look forward to what will come in 2009. I am blessed with a healthy family, the love of my husband, and so much more. Success in life is what we make it to be right? I intend to be successful in just that…. Life... Thank God for everyday I can put my feet on the floor and be with those I love and those who love me. I “aim” to start everyday with the best of “intentions” and hope for the best. – May each of you who read have a great Year in 2009.

Catching up

2008-12-03T09:59:00.001-08:00

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas Everyone! I have been very slack in blogging over the course of the last few months and decided that today was as good a day as any to catch up.

Over the last few months, I have managed to be laid off, enjoy a few weeks at home and fortunate enough to find employment once again. Being laid off was something that has never happened to me before and came as a shock, and with that came stress, worry, and then some relief as the Real Estate Company I was working for did take care of me for which I am very thankful.

During my weeks at home, I was able to spend time with Nana, clean my house (it reallllllly needed it) and run errands for my husband. After a full week at home my nerves were starting to fray (a floor can only be swept so many times you know) and the need for employment on a personal level was high. So I began to search, and search and search. I applied and applied and applied. Nothing is simple anymore – Finally I was blessed with employment at SFI Group Insurance – and…I am enjoying it!

I spent Thanksgiving at home with my family and then the day after, went shopping with my friends and all the rest of the early risers at 4am Friday morning. Chatting on the sidewalk at Target at 4am is something I never envisioned myself doing – but… it was fun and I hope that I can do it again. Over the course of the day, I began to realize that Christmas is NOT what it used to be and being courteous is something that every takes for granted at some point in time. Bumper Carts in Wal-Mart is not fun. Christmas is for the children and the true meaning is found by the smiles on their faces and love in their hearts, the unconditional love that comes to us and provided by God above.

Merry Christmas

Media Effects....

2008-08-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

As most people in this great country, I watch the news.... primarily for the weather because everything else that is reported usually is depressing bad news and is prolonged over the course of a week or two. The media has recently (over the last few months) has blown up and then deflated the housing market so much and everyone is scared to buy, scared to travel, almost even scared to leave the house. At my office we are still listing and selling our inventory regularly, not as fast as we would like of course but for the most part with the number of real estate offices on and around the island, I would say we are holding our own.

My question is this – Why must the media make a mountain out of a mole hill? What gratification do they get for repeatedly reporting negative and depressing news? Ratings???? Why is it that when the slightest tropical wave comes remotely toward the coast of NC – The weather channel crew is making a b-line to North Topsail Beach – It’s no secret that the North End is suffering erosion and yes there are some houses there that are condemned and in the ocean literally – This is not NEW news – the entire country and those that vacation here, have property here and live here know about the erosion. – I am sure that the homeowner’s especially those who rent the properties out for the summer don’t appreciate the foul taste that the media is putting in the mouths of future vacationers. As a former Property Manager I can assure you that Hurricane Season is what it is but more times than not, the weather media blows more hot air than the tropical storm / hurricane. But yet we let the media get away with it by tuning in every morning at 5:30am like clock work and every night at 6, 7, 10 and 11pm. When we go out to eat, there are even TV’s in the restaurants – we are constantly fed this crap and because we are told about it regularly and no one news station varies from the “story” they are telling - It must be true – right? We must be in really bad shape…. Unemployment is up by 2%, the guy down the street committed a crime, he goes to court, he gets a sentence of however long and he will never really serve the full sentence he was awarded from the jury because he will get out on good behavior. What does that say about our morals as a country when we can’t even stand behind our word? I don’t care if he was good as gold in jail – he did the crime – pay the time – as a child I didn’t get away with something I did bad and you can bet I didn’t get “ungrounded” early either.

It is harder than ever these days to be human – To error is human and everyone is entitled to their fair share of error – But why does everyone’s flaws, mishaps, wrong doings etc have to be broadcast over and over and over again? Report it for a day maybe two and be done with it. For example – NO ONE is immediately affected when Senator McCain had a spot removed from his face and it was sent off for biopsy except Senator McCain and his family or that Obama went to the doctor because he threw out his hip – Let these men have their privacy for crying out loud. Neither of these unfortunate things is relevant to who is better suited to run our country. – My interests are who in my neighborhood has recently been added to the sex offender list – By all means broadcast their name, picture and address over the TV – anyone that sick deserves to be humiliated. – That may sound like a contradiction but come on now, did you really care that Obama threw out his hip or do you care if your children are safe? My interests in the Presidental race is who is going to effectively work for the middle class, who is going to relieve the gas price gouging, who is going to do what they can with all their might to unscrew the screwed up portions of our country bringing us back to having faith in our leader(s) and who perhaps will re-visit putting God back in our schools. Don’t get me wrong I care if they are terminally ill but if one of them is in a wheel chair – that doesn’t change their morals and values.

Think about this the next time you watch the news – is it in your opinion as bad as the media makes it out to be? Are you healthy? Can you afford to put food on your table? Can you make it to and from work without suffering a deficit in your wallet? Sure you have become more aware of your spending habits, but what are you doing to survive as a result of the media deflating the economy – are you complaining that you don’t have anything, or you can’t get anything – or are you doing something about it and in turn living the life you want to?

Little Miss Nosey

2008-07-23T10:40:00.000-07:00

In a small town/neighborhood secrets are tough to keep and eventually you learn who you can and cannot trust with a secret no matter the level of importance or lack of it. Rumors get started and silence comes across the room just as you enter – you know by the stares they’re talkin’ about you and suddenly everyone you know becomes your friend or your enemy. The relevance of this blog has absolutely nothing to do with that kind of nosiness.

This blog is about people minding their own business and how much happier they would be as people if they wouldn’t worry themselves with something that has absolutely nothing to do with them. For example on the news earlier this week a mother of 3 could possibly serve jail time for spanking her child in public – not beating, but spanking. According to the news the family of 4 was at an event that involved a parade, they were watching the parade the 2 yr old little girl was trying to make her way into the street – any mother in her right mind would know that a 2 yr old and a 4 lane highway are a bad combination so the mother popped the little girl on her fanny. – No harm no foul and in the end the child will realize eventually that street play is not for little girls and/or boys and cars can hurt. – Some one in the crowd called the police and reported abuse! This woman was minding her own business, and trying to enjoy the festivities with her children and it just so happened that her toddler tried to get away because of all the “pretties” and goodies in the road from the parade. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for Super Nanny on ABC and her tactics do work but sometimes nothing else can get a point across except spanking and in that instance, I would have done the very same thing, my child would have gotten her fanny popped.

Last evening I witnessed a mother discipline her son over dinner because he had learned a new word – “hate” and he was telling everyone and everything he hated them/it and he was very excited about it if you know what I mean. His mother had enough of it and warned him twice and the third time they took a trip to the car. – GO MOM! Nothing was said, by anyone at the table or in the restaurant - we all knew that she meant business and by the attitude of the little boy when they returned to the restaurant, he did too - the young guy was made to come back in and apologize to the entire table and the waitress. – You definitely don’t see that kind of parenting anymore.

People sue other people for the stupidest reasons and people report abuse when there is no abuse to report. If the child is bruised as a direct result of a spanking, that is one thing but when did it become the world’s business on how parents raise their children? Come on... look at the child, does he/she appear abused, are they clean and for the most part happy. You can see abuse in the eyes of a child just by looking at them. That is when something should be done before it is too late but spanking is not abuse, hitting with a closed fist on a child is. As a child and tween, and even as a teenager there were plenty of occasions that I should have gotten a spanking and didn’t but there were also those times that I got it and I did in fact deserve it. That discipline has helped to mold me into who I am and I think I turned out alright – I have morals, values, and work ethic and a clean conscience.

Most children in today’s society are spoiled and expect the world to cater to them – So sorry – not me not my child either. There are rules, boundaries and limitations. I love my daughter enough to provide her with those rules, boundaries and limitations and the consequences should they be broken. I would never do anything to hurt, damage or ruin my daughter. Does that make me a bad parent - NO it holds my daughter accountable for her actions and teaches her right from wrong in addtion to teaching her how to treat other people. The only problem I am having right now is trying to figure out how to fit the filter between her brain and her mouth because right now anything that pops in the head is more than likely gonna come out of the mouth. Juveniles in detention centers got there in my opinion by being spoiled and having everything handed to them and when the hand outs stopped they got mad and then got violent – that landed them in jail where they are getting a free ride, free cable TV, free food, free room and board, free hygiene items, free personal trainer so in the end they get what they want anyway.

If everyone would keep to themselves, stay out of everyone else’s business and leave parenting to the parents, they would be surprised on not only how much happier they would be as individuals, they would be stress free from having to keep up with who said or did what AND….. perhaps they wouldn’t be sued or judged or have the cops called on them when they did the same act as they reported to the officials in the first place. As Americans we should not have to walk on egg shells and ask permission to discipline our children. This is the land of the free for things like, freedom of speech and freedom of expression amongst other things. The last time I checked spanking is not against the law – but I am sure it will be before long if we become so scared to live. You may or may not agree with me, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, don't judge me for mine and I won't judge you for yours. - It's the American thing to do.

Share some love

2008-06-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

During a lifetime a person learns who they can and cannot trust, what to believe and what not to believe, when to listen and as the song goes - "You find out who your friends are"

Recently I have come to realize and fully understand the phrase - "Looking out for Number One". I will not disclose details on how I came to this understanding but now it is clearer than crystal and comprehended more than I could ever fathom. There is no such thing as helping out a fellow man anymore. In today's time everyone is so afraid that someone is going to get the upper hand or accomplish more or make more money than they themselves and jealousy sets in, unhappiness occurs - you get the picture.

My opinion is that a person can not get anywhere in life without the confidence that they can achieve whatever their heart desires - and getting "things" and doing "things" is not a bad life. But my life to me is my immediate family and close friends. Life isn't about concentrating on how much money you have or you're going to have, or a title you may or may not ever get at your job, it is your family. So many families today are not as close as they should be - why? Pride, jealousy of another, lack of understanding - failure to communicate effectively. For example..I admit I am not as close as I would like to be with one of my sisters.. why... - lack of understanding, a lot of misunderstanding and failure to communicate effectively. I hope that I have not been an awful sister but I know I haven't been an easy one to live with or get along with - but I do love her - we have our differences of opinion - but I still love her and would bend over backwards for her when she needed me.

Everyone tries and everyone fails, Everyone falls down (usually getting kicked while they're down ) and then they're gossiped about when they get back up again. There is no one right answer to anything, everyone has a different right answer but no one wants to listen to what someone else has to say. I am rambling and I realize I am rambling - I truly hope you are getting the jest of the story. I don't have to prove myself to anyone but myself in some cases I am my own worst enemy. My home is stable, my heart is full and my nerves are shot that's usually a mom's point of view but in all seriousness- Greed may make your rich in dollars but it will never make you rich (in life), but... Sharing what you have (knowledge, joy, manners and kindness) with others is contagious and you'll be surprised how happy your life can really be.

What is a mother?

2008-05-12T12:56:00.000-07:00

I have met many "mothers" in my lifetime and have been inspired to be more like some and at the same time swear I'd never be like others. Fortunately I have been blessed with more than one mother, more than two grandmothers and had the opportunity when I was small to meet and interact with a great grandmother (I am so glad that my daughter has had that same opportunity).

My mother is a woman child of God, a replica of her own mother (sorry mom) in some ways but mostly has become her own person (just a little bit). She's always supportive on my good decisions and scolds me still when I make bad ones. I still get my feelings hurt at times when she tells me what I need to hear but I know she means well and I wouldn't want her to lie to me. I've hurt her feelings, stomped on her heart and cussed and argued with her all because I knew better than she - in the long run I've ate my words and swallowed my pride to commend her on her experience and have since come to realize that she did know better. I've learned more in the last 11 years and have re-visited the "One day... you'll see" line more than I care to count but I could never thank her enough for the education she has provided with me and although I said, " I'd never do that to my child!" - I admit, I've done it - cause it works.

My Nana is a woman of compassion, and I would have loved to have met her mother and when she reads this she's gonna cry. She too has always been supportive of me and she is who I'd go to when the head momma in charge made me cry. She'd love me and make me feel better and fix me a peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich (she had to do it cause she was afraid I'd lick the spoon and put it back in the jelly jar - she's a strict no double dipper). And as the world has turned - she is also who my daughter goes to when I make her mad or she gets hurt - "I want my Nana" she says. I don't have a recent picture of her but I will be putting one on this blog very soon - so lookout Nana here I come with the camera. :)

With the many influences in my life, I have come to determine and somewhat plan on my daughter loving me, sometimes say that she hates me (even though she doesn't), hurt me, crush my heart and mend it all in one sentence. With the lessons I've previously learned and the lessons I will learn in the future I hope I am half the mother that the mothers and grandmothers in my life have been to me.

Equality - what...ever!

2008-04-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

Two teenage girls, both are fortunate to have a home, one has parents who care and can afford for her to have some of her wants and all of her needs and the other is apparently deprived of something (no one is sure what) - the two are from opposite ends of the spectrum. One day the "bully" (the deprived child)we'll call her comes in and approaches the other and tells her to move from the seat she was sitting. The girl says, no I was here first so the bully takes the seat behind her. They have to be separated further anyway because there is a test and the bully mouths off and says great I can't stand to sit by "white" girls. The other girl says that she wasn't exactly excited about sitting next to her either letting her know that she wasn't scared of her and knowing that really she's all mouth anyway. The bully approaches the girl, calls her all the bad names she could think of and threatens to bring a gun and kill her. The girl that stood up for herself is the one that was sent to ISS. - WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!!!!! The days of this garbage is - well... should be OVER.

The girl doesn't say anything to her parents but does slip up and say something to her sister and her friends about what the bully had said, when her parents caught wind, they took it up with the school prior to someone getting seriously hurt. Not only does this bother me as a mother but it also bothers me as a citizen. We live in what is supposed to be a FREE country with the freedom to walk the streets of America without fear. Today our children can't even go to school safely. Everyone was put on this earth and created EQUAL, different in color, size and shape but EQUAL. They have been given EQUAL rights and... EQUAL opportunity - what they choose to do with their lives (either live it to the fullest or flush it down the drain) is NOT my fault.

Everyone should have consequences for their actions and NO ONE should be given favoritism just because of their color, religion, size or celebrity. We look at child and teenage bullies these days as those that are less fortunate because they tend to try to bully smarter or children that have more drive and initiative to achieve or just appear like they can't handle their own - why? Because they themselves lack those traits - NOT MY FAULT! It's not my fault that someone Else's children do not have respect for their parents or themselves (they weren't taught how to), nor is it my fault that that a child's family can't afford to buy their children new clothes but instead they can afford to buy them nice 2ND hand clothes. Pardon me for teaching my child respect, pardon me for providing my child with boundaries, rules and guidelines. Break the rules - deal with the consequences. I was taught respect, and brought up with boundaries, guidelines, rules and more spankings than I care to count and I turned out just fine. My daughter has rules, boundaries and guidelines. Spanking isn't necessary unless it is needed. And what that bully needs is nothing more than a good ol' fashion spankin'.

Which brings me to another point. Most adults today were spanked as children and probably more than half deserved every lick they got whether it was from a belt, as switch they had to pick themselves (heaven forbid if it wasn't long enough) or the hand of their parents and most of them turned out just fine. If it ain't broke - don't try to fix it.......The problem is that those that were literally abused as children is who is trying to outlaw it and make it near impossible to discipline a child and teach them right from wrong. They are the ones that are making DSS so accessible to children that anytime they are spanked for a wrong doing like, I don't know - Stealing, the child can call DSS and then what - no one is taught anything but everyone has hateful and resentful feelings. These people are just the ones that have nothing else better to do but complain and has also managed to convince the Government to take God out of the schools, now they are trying to take "One nation under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance and "In God we Trust" off the American Dollar. The nation was founded by God and it is just WRONG and "AGAINST MY RELIGION" to take him out of it. Ohhh.. I'm fired up now :)

Bottom line is this.... Don't judge me, and I don't judge you. Live like you should, teach your children right from wrong. ( Right = good things, good thoughts, good actions, courtesy, and an equal playing field for everyone) - (Wrong = lying, cheating, stealing, beating, fighting and prejudice). It won't matter 15 years from now if your child didn't make the softball, football or soccer team nor will it matter how much money you had to spend on them or the size and location of the house you call home. What will matter is how you treated your peers during the process of your life and what and how you will be remembered at your high school reunion or even the legacy of your last name.

Help to keep the beaches clean!

2008-04-21T06:26:00.000-07:00

As my husband, our dog Josh and I were walking along the beach Saturday afternoon while the sun was setting beautifully, I quickly became discouraged that such an awesome wonder and beautiful setting could be ruined by such negligence. During our approximate 2 mile walk, I found myself instead of looking for shells and sharks teeth, I was combing the beach for litter.

I found several empty plastic bottles that were left by recent visitors (the labels weren't even faded), an abandoned beach chair thrown up in the dune, plastic wrappers, cigarette boxes and butts and the list goes on. As a local, this disturbs me that other locals and even the visitors that pay an abundance of money to vacation here would leave behind such things while enjoying themselves at the beach. Just because they pay the money doesn't mean that the litter rules do not apply to them. The hovering seagulls looking for food could easily pick up digest and die from plastic. By the end of the walk (that was supposed to be relaxing) I ended up more stressed and annoyed than I was when we started the walk. I cannot believe that people are so careless and thoughtless especially when the towns have placed multiple trash cans at every public access.

This is my hometown, visitors are welcome and encouraged but PLEASE.... discard your trash in the trash cans as you leave the beach after a day of fun in the sun. God gave us this beautiful landscape to enjoy. Enjoy it and be responsible for helping to keep it beautiful.

2008 so far

2008-04-18T09:57:00.000-07:00

I turned 30 in January of this year and have had a struggle with it since then. I'm not sure why because women turn 30 every day but it has been hard for me emotionally, physically and otherwise. Since I have reached this age, I have reflected everyday on who I am, what I was and who I will become.

Since I was a little girl I have imagined having a family, providing for that family and living the American Dream. Making my own rules, and in some cases breaking my own rules, not having to answer for anything to anyone and then.... when I was 18 I gave birth to a rather large 9lb 7 oz baby girl who I completely and totally adore, 2 yrs later I married her dad and we were official, we were a family. My husband worked construction and then moved into HVAC, I had multiple part time jobs while my Mom and Nana (bless her) helped by taking care of our daughter while our schedules passed by a kiss at the door. Then the opportunity came to where I could work like a civilized person better known as a "day job" allowing my family to be together in the evenings, my daughter moved to day care during the day and life was good. I remained at that job for a little over 5 years when the fun and enjoyment of my collegues and co-workers had dimeninshed and I began to be resentful of my efforts to be a good employee as it had taken its toll on my family and my marriage and was showing in my work. ( I loved my job - really I did but it was time to go). I moved on to what I thought was going to be greener grass that ended up not being and now I am in love with my job again - Thank God! and then I turned 30. Whoah.... wher'd that come from?! Aside from turning 30, my daughter, a short time before turned into a young lady and is becoming a typical pre-teen as we speak -yikes! My mother said she prayed that I would have one just like me - well, Thank you God for granting that prayer! She is a spitting image of me all the way around. She looks like me, talks like me, gets assy (if that's a word) like me. - What better way to be right?! (Ha ha).

For the most part my life is good although there are times I wish it was better but nonetheless I can't complain. I have a husband who loves me, a happy and healthly daughter who is a good student and sometimes overkills the best of intentions, a family that I can turn to when I need to vent or just be - As I think about all the things I wanted to be and want to be in the future, I recall a recent song release from Trace Atkins, titled " You're gonna miss this" and I step back and realize that I really couldn't ask for more, I have everything I need right now and wouldn't change anything. It is what it is and what will be will be.

Thanks for reading,